


All that it takes

by Rabiiid



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Both me and the charaters bitch, Connors a jerk, Evan is pure, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I hurt then because i love them, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Protect my son evan hansen, SO GAY, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, idk where this is going, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2018-11-18 15:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11293719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rabiiid/pseuds/Rabiiid
Summary: Connor survives his attempt and slowly becomes friends with Evan.. . .Note: this is really slow and here's why: I personally  think that Connor  has Paranoid personality disorder, meaning he wouldn't trust Evan that quickly. However yes Tree bros is coming.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Where is this going?? Idk. It's kinda angsty.  
> TW: suicide attempts, family troubles, self harm.

"Dear Evan Hansen,  
Met your mom in the hospital last week. She said we should talk. I guess. I'm just so fucking bored. Doctors order not to go to school until Friday. Not that I like school because I hate it there but I just hate having to spend all day every day with mom. I love her but she's so sad since I tried to off myself a few weeks ago also I haven't left the house since I got home from the hospital. Anyways I wanted to write you and tell you that I'm sorry I shoved you and took your letter last time I saw you. Also sorry I freaked out about your letter mentioning Zoe, still a little creepy but not worthy of me yelling at you. Not a great first impression. Again, sorry.  
Sincerely,  
Me. "  
Connor scanned over the e-mail before sending it. Whatever he typed couldn't have been more of a blunder than any of Evans' social interactions, he thought. The only reason he had even tried to reach out to Evan is he was (painfully) lonely and Evan seemed nice enough last time they had talked or tried to at least.  
The day after he had tried to kill himself Connor woke up surrounded by his family, who were only half-heartedly sad about his state. Except for Cynthia, she lit up like a million Christmas lights when Connor woke up and started chattering to Larry and Zoe. The second thing Connor noticed after his mother's cheers were just how terrible he felt. First off, his headache. He hadn't eaten or had a drink of anything since the morning before. Next, how tightly the bandages around his wrists were and how itchy the stitches were. The next few days were a blur of sleep, soberness and his whole family walking on eggshells around him and then screaming at him.  
One of the nights after his hospitalization, Larry came in the room. Connor was annoyed right off the bat. Couldn't Cynthia come in instead? Larry had a talk with Connor that ended with "don't do drugs, be nicer to Zoe, or there will be serious consequences". Larry didn't even tell Connor that he loved him.  
Connor was pulled from his thoughts when a sharp ping came from his computer, indicating a new e-mail.  
“Dear Connor Murphy,  
I'm sorry you had to meet my mom like that. I hope you're doing alright, not that it's easy to recover from attempting but… Anyways, your locker at school has flowers and letters and glitter all over it. I'm glad you're coming back to school, I'm sure everyone feels the same. Also, I forgive you for the computer lab debacle (it was still pretty terrifying though). Hope you're feeling okay at least.  
Sincerely.  
Me."  
    Connor read each word carefully, smiling slightly at ‘I'm glad you're coming back’. He wondered why Evan cared so much about him?  
pretended to care, he probably just wants something from you, obviously'  
Something said in the back of Connors mind. He pushed those thoughts away and shut the lid to his laptop.  
Scanning over his dark room he debated if a drive and smoke would be worth it or not. He decided not and climbed into bed.


	2. 2

Evan was right, Connors locker was filled with disgustingly cheery cards, notes, gifts, candies and other various knick knacks. He didn't mind that he got a whole bunch of candles though, he liked candles. They always seemed to calm him down. A girl from his art class gave him a small sketchbook and a new pack of mechanical pencils. Connor hated drawing with wooden pencils (they were always so dull and he couldn't get the nice sharp point he liked.) so the mechanical ones were a nice touch. Connor shoved the stuff in his bag and walked to his first hour.   
He decided to try and apply himself to the class in his overall attempt to be better but everything was so boring to him. He would much rather doodle on the margins of the papers and drown everything out. Sooner or later, the class ended and he was forced to remove himself from his seat and push his way into the hallway.   
He stood in front of his locker and stared down at his phone.  
-Two new messages-  
-Zoe  
-Dad  
Connor decided to deal with whatever it was later and get to his next class early. Science.   
Connor didn't hate science class, just the teacher. She was a short, bitter woman. She always gave out tests only a few days into a unit and then again after the unit.   
The day passed by with remarkable mundanes. The only notable thing about the day was when Evan decided to sit with Connor in 7th period English. Connor passed a note written on a thin slip of paper that he had ripped out of his sketchbook to Evan.   
"Wanna hang out after school. I know a cool place. -Connor."   
Evan scanned the not before flipping over the paper and writing his response.   
"Sure. We should probably stop passing notes though. -Evan."   
Connor felt strange about this.


	3. Not a chapter

I'm sorry everyone but things just got really rough do no updates for a while? Idk when I'll write again. This will take time. I'm sorry to dissapoint you.


	4. Chapter 4: an actual chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor shows Evan his hideout, a bond is formed.

Connor waited outside the school for his new-found _friend._

It didnt take more than a minute for Evan to walk out of the school.

 

     "Great. Youre here. Now I can show you where I hide the bodies." Connor joked gesturing for Evan to get into his beat-up car.

 

   Evan didn't seem to find the joke funny and chuckled uncomfortably as he opened the car door.

 

     Connor brushed it off and got in the car himself.

 

    The drive was long filled with silences bordering on uncomfortable.

 

     The pair arrived at their destination just as the sun began its slow desent below the horizon.

 

    "This is my hideout. I guess, if you can call a public place a hideout." Connor said as he led Evan through the thick weeds and broken gate of the Orchard.

 

      "Its away from my family." He continued. "Always a plus. But I guess the view isnt bad."

 

   "No its not its... Beautiful, actually." Evan said. Connor was surprised. That seemed to be the longest sentance Evan had ever said to him.

 

  "I guess," Connor responded. "If you like dirt and shit."

 

   Evan laughed at connors joke this time and followed up with "yeah I guess I do like dirt but the trees are what are _actually_ the beautiful part."

 

    This struck Connor as odd, didn't take Evan as a tree-hugger but then again he'd only known the kid for a few days.

 

    "Really? I mean sure but theure just apple trees." Connor said.

 

     "They've aged nicely though you can tell these trees have been here fo-" Evan stopped as Connor sat abruptly.

 

      "Here we are" Connor said, laying down on the grassy field. "My favorite spot. Its situated just right. You can see the twon but the town cant see you, great sunsets and sunrises, safe place to smoke. Perfect."

 

     Evan took a seat next to Connor and took in the veiw of the place.

 

     "How'd you find it?" Evan asked after a short while.

 

     "Oh." Connor saod shifting so he could meet Evan's gaze. "My family used to come here all the time when I was little. Then the place got shut down when I was nine and since then my life has gone down hill"

 

    Evan snickered "But you get away from them here? Seems... Contradictory".

 

     "Ive never thought about it that way. Youre right I guess." Connor said thoughfully.

 

     "So how about you? Got a tragic backstory?"

 

    "Oh uh. No I guess I've just had a normal life." Evan answered, too quickly.

 

    "Okay. Don't start canabalising people and use that line in your last interview though, because then we'll all know what bullshit that was."

 

   Evan rolled his eyes. "Yeah right."

 

"Just saying man... Sometimes you can just tell."

 

   


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan is bearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rollerblades in* sorry for infrequent updates I had a mental breakdown and they sent me to an inpatient program. I'm chill now though so heres an update. Maybe ill use writing as a coping skill and actually update more than once in a fucking year.

 

The way connor saw it, school could eat a bag of dicks. _Ooo you can get a maningless nuber on a peice of paper! Congradulations, youre just another cog in the governments machine_! He only went maybe to see the people there. Sometimes. Or if he was forced. Like he was currently being.

 

     The only reason he somewhat complied with this is because of his newfound _companion_ Evan.

 

    Sure, Evan sweated a lot, didnt know how to form a sentance and was pretty much the most blubbering excuse for a human Connor had ever been in proximity to, but he was better than nothing. And Connor could take better than nothing over nothing any day. So while Evan blabbed about biology or botany or whatever over lunch, connor actually listened. He thought of Evan as his 'well at least I dont sit alone' friend.

 

     Connor could withstand Evan but he could not in any way stand Evan's 'not friend' Jared Klienman.

 

    Jared Klienman was an unbearable glasses wearing annoyance. This kid still made gay jokes in 2017 and didnt know that qouting memes offline makes you a big nerd.

 

     Although, Connor couldnt see why Evan _willingly_ hung out with Klienman. He assumed it was because he had no one else to spend time with.

 

     Connor thought that was sad and so decided to hang out with Evan so he didn't have to be a hostage to Jared anymore. He often joked about himself being a martyr for this _heroic_ act.

 

      Lunches with Evan were what made vonnors day bearable. Seeing someone so passionate abojt something - no matter how dorky - made Connors' day.

     "Hey Evan." Connor interrupted one lunch period "my parents are throwong this lame ass party on Sunday for some.... Accomplishment of my dad's or whatever.... You should come. If its unbearable we can steal all the booze and go to the orchard."

 

     "That sounds.... Good. I'll go." Evan said a smile spreading across his face.

 

     From what Connor knew, Heidi, evans mom, was at work almost 24/7 and didn't really give a shit where Evan went or with who. He figured she wouldnt even find out about this until next month.

 

     "Cool." Connor saod standing up to throw his hardly-touched school lunch away


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick with some phlemmie bullshit but heres this. Idk where I'm going with this but maybe spooning in the next chapter so

The dreaded day of the family party arrived and Connor could not have been less enthused. When rich people get bored they throw parties. His parents were no exception. So while Cynthia bustled around the house, fixing the flowers in the multitude of vases around the Murphy household, Larry came out every ten or so minutes with a new tie on asking for his wifes approval. Each time, of course Cynthia would respond with "This is for you! Don't you want to look nicer?"   
      When Larry wasnt asking for Cynthias' approval, Zoe, connors' younger, well-bahved, well-rounded, sister was.   
      Zoe got a simmilar response from her mother.   
    "Zoe, how about that blue dress? The one from your band concert a while back?"   
     Each time, Zoe complied and came down in whatever frilly monstrosity their mother had suggested.   
     Connor had not been enthused about any of this and reluctantly rolled out of bed to continue his normal routine of making his bowl of cereal (milk first of course. He started doing it to annoy Zoe but later got into the habit of doing so), settling into an Island still and scrolling on his phone absentmindedly.   
     "Connor, please, I know youre not exactly excited about having this party but get ready. Its 8:00, the guests will be here at 2:00 and I havent even gotten to shower yet." Cynthia said, cleaning the already spotless kitchen counter.   
       Connor complied, not willing to even try to fight at this hour, and got up to wash his bowl before heading up to his room to begin the strenuous process if gaining outfit approval.   
     Connors phone buzzed from his nightsatnd and he practically jumped at the oppurtunity to ignore his obligations.   
      It was a text from Evan.   
   'Evan H - text back : 8:12   
         Hey, what time does your familys' party start? You havent even given me your adress.'   
Connor felt a flash of embarrassment   
Of course you forget to tell him where it.... Oh god.   
'oh. Yeah. 425 Northwood st. Its the blue house with the yellow door.'   
After much more preparation and nagging from cynthias' side, the part had finally started. Zoe dressed in a poufy dress standing off in the corner trying to avoid talking to the several of their aunts and uncles that had been invited.   
The party was thrown for Larry Murphy, an uninterestong buisness man who had just moved up marginally in the ranks. Being that it was thrown for larry most of the guests were in their 40s to 50s, Each of the murphy kids were allowed to invite one of their peers to make the party more bearable for the pair and for their parents (although they would never admit that feat).   
Connors' plus one, evan showed up along with more guests who he obviously and awkwardly placed himself among.   
Connor seized the opportunity to monetarily leave the party which hed been forced to attend on account that family is family. Connor could care less about what his father had acheived but didnt fight his mother when she told him he was going to attend the party weather he liked it or not. It was easier that way.   
Connor led Evan away from the party and onto the porch once again. Evan questioned momentarily but Connor cut in.   
"Trust me. You dont want to go in there. Its just a bunch of boujie fake people sucking up to my dad. Probably trying to move up in the social ranks or whatever."   
"Then why did you go?" Evan asked, sounding genuinely curious.   
"Forced to." Connor sighed.   
"What should we do then?" Evan asked apprehensively   
"Lets get out of here. I'm tired of being here anyways." Connor said, standing up from his chair.


End file.
